Talking About Feelings
by Teresa, The CuteKid™ Staff
As your child grows they will be faced with a variety of child emotions and events that will
trigger sadness, anger, jealousy, happiness, loneliness, and other emotions. As a good parent it is important to talk about these feelings and how your child can deal with their emotions. Talking
about how your child feels will help them learn to cope with their own feelings and with those of
others.
Observe their behavior:
Observing your child's behavior and actions can give you a glimpse of what they
are feeling and your child’s emotions. If your child runs to her room and slams
the door she is probably upset. If your son is bouncing up and down with his eyes
lit up he is probably excited.
Ask questions:
Ask your child how they feel. Find out if something happened at school, with
a friend, or a family member. Don't expect your child just to open up and
pour out what is bothering them. On the flip side if your child has something
happy to share they might be waiting for you to ask also. My three-year-old
daughter just threw some toys on the floor then climbed on my lap. I
asked her, "Are you angry?" She said, "No." So I then asked her if she was sad. She
told she was because she thought her sister wouldn't share. Because I asked I was
able to easily resolve the situation.
Help identify emotions:
Your child may not be sure how they feel. So supply them with a list of emotions to
choose from. You could ask, "Are you angry? Or sad about what happened? Did you feel
jealous?" This will help your child identify their emotions and then learn how to better
deal with how they feel.
Listen:
After you have identified how your child feels and asked your child what happened listen.
Let them talk without interruption as they discuss the event that triggered their child emotion. Most
children will open up when they realize that you are truly interested and want to know.
Talk about it:
When your child has explained the reason they are feeling the way they do. Take a few minutes
and talk about the experience. Validate your child's feelings. Don't dismiss how they feel as
stupid. Just because you don't think a friend sitting by someone else at lunch should upset
her doesn't mean that it should not. Discuss ways that she can feel better. Maybe she could
talk to their friend. Or sit by someone else that she likes at lunch tomorrow.
Teach empathy
After your child is feeling better take a minute and discuss what the other person might be
feeling or the reason they did what they did. This way your child will learn empathy and that
when they are upset the other person involved probably feels the same way.
Talking about your child's emotions and feelings helps validate how they feel. It teaches
them how to better cope and control their emotions. It builds communication between you and
your child. It also increases your child's self-esteem as they realize that how they feel is
important to you.
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