Often people have a hard time accepting compliments. But this is a social
grace that should be cultivated and learn how to take a compliment.
Many times when someone give a compliment we may reply with a comment
that gives the message that the person giving the compliment is insincere
or doesn’t know what she is talking about.
For example if someone says, “That’s a lovely dress you’re wearing.” You reply,
“This old thing?” Or when someone says, “You did a great job on that project.”
You counter with, “It didn’t turn out as well as I wanted.”
On the flip side people often respond with an arrogant comment or by making
light of the matter. If someone said, “I love that shirt.” You might give a
smart aleck reply like, “Of course. I have great taste.” So instead of
accepting the compliment you throw it back in the face of the person
complimenting you.
Either response shows that you are either not comfortable accepting
compliments or do not really care about the opinion of the person
complimenting you.
Many people have a hard time accepting compliments usually because
they do not feel deserving of them. Someone may compliment a
performance but you realize that you made a mistake. Or a new
haircut that you dislike might receive a compliment. So you may
be tempted to point out the flaws or reasons you do not deserve
a compliment. Instead resist the temptation and graciously accept
the compliment by saying something like “Thank you I practiced very
hard,” or “Thanks, I just had it cut.”
Sometimes we don’t want to accept compliments because we don’t
believe the person giving the compliment is sincere. But their
sincerity is not your problem. Take the compliment at face value,
say, “Thank you,” and move on.
Children need to learn how to accept compliments. Recently I was
with a group of teenage girls. One of the girls received a
compliment on her clothing and countered with “I don’t really
like it.” I leaned over to help her respond to compliment and
said, “When someone compliments you just say, thank you. Accept
the compliment and feel good that someone felt like you were
worth complimenting.”
As a standard etiquette for children, have them promptly say, “Thank you.” whenever they are complimented. Numerous people have complimented my daughters on
their naturally curly hair or big blue eyes. When they were
younger I said “Thank you” for them. Now that they are older
I prompt them to tell the person “Thank you” themselves.
Give your child compliments at home. This will help them be
more comfortable receiving compliments from others. I often
tell my children that they look nice or have done something
well.
Learning to accept compliments graciously may seem awkward at first but
gradually it will become second nature. By accepting compliments you will
feel better about yourself and you will not be putting down the person who
complimented you.
