10 Ways To Be A Good
Spouse

Be unselfish. Don’t always but your needs or desires above those of your spouse. There needs to be give and take in every relationship. That doesn’t mean that your needs don’t need to be met, but just make sure that they don’t always come first.

Show gratitude. Gratitude is something that is often overlooked in the day to day living of a marriage. Saying thank you shows that you recognize and appreciate the things that your spouse does for you whether it be large like going to work every day or small like packing your spouse’s lunch.

Don’t be too independent. If you can do everything by and for yourself you are letting your spouse know that they aren’t really needed. Everyone needs to feel needed. Repeatedly stressing that your spouse is not needed may damage your spouse’s self-esteem.

Don’t be too dependent. On the flip side being overly dependant on your spouse can make them feel overwhelmed and boxed in. Being the one who has to do everything is a heavy burden to bear.

Share things. You may think that you are sparing your spouse’s feelings by not sharing bad things. But you are really just shutting them out and preventing them from helping and supporting you. In a marriage the good things as well as the bad should be shared equally.

Don’t overextend yourself. If you are giving too much of yourself emotionally to your job, hobbies, community or church responsibilities then you aren’t leaving enough for your spouse. If will create undue stress and conflict in your relationship. Last summer I was involved in a large youth activity in our church. I was devoting so much time to the activity that my husband felt neglected. When I realized this I had to revaluate my priorities.

Keep your marriage a partnership. A marriage should only include you and your spouse. Don’t invite someone else into the relationship. Talking to and depending upon someone other than your spouse for emotional support is truly damaging to a marriage.

Don’t be a martyr. If you or your spouse is the one that is always giving it will cause internal resentment to build up. You will begin to withhold part of yourself either consciously or unconsciously. Marriage should be give and take. If you are afraid to stand up for yourself or ask your spouse to do something then it is time to take a stand. Discuss it with your spouse or get outside help from a counselor.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. You spouse is going to have habits that annoy you. My husband leaves his socks on the floor and bites his fingernails. Yet when I focus on the bad things then I forget the good things. Don’t let the small things become your focus.

Don’t strain your financial resources. In many marriages one spouse is a spender and the other is a saver. This can create a lot of conflict. Early in our marriage we determined a monthly budget for my husband that we both can agree on. He can spend the money without feeling guilty and I am not worried that too much money will be spent. If you are both spenders then set a budget for both have you. Spending more money than you make is a huge strain on a marriage and not worth it.