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Good Friendship, Bad Friendship Characteristics
by Teresa, The CuteKid™ Staff
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For most children friendships are a vital part of life. As children transition
to being a
teenager friends become even more important. Who your child’s friends
are often
determines the choices they make. Friends can have a great influence
upon their behavior. Of course as parents we want our children to make good friendship,
friends that will
influence them positively. But what exactly constitutes a good
friendship or bad friendship?
It isn’t always easy to tell if your child is in a bad friendship. And it’s even
harder for your child to recognize and realize that a friendship is not good. Here
are some warning signs
from The Girl’s and Boy’s Town that can help identify when
a friendship is not positive.
The bad friend:
- always wants things done their own way.
- is jealous of any other relationships or friendships your child has.
- is critical of your child and of others.
- doesn’t give your child any space and always wants to be with them.
- acts like they are better than your child in some way.
- may lie to your child and others.
- encourages your child to make bad choices.
- has different values than your child.
- uses your child.
On the flip side good friends act differently.
The good friend:
- respects your child’s opinion.
- has their own interests outside of your child.
- acts like they and your child are equals.
- is honest with your child and others.
- doesn’t criticize.
- supports your child in their activities.
- has similar interests.
- has similar values.
If you believe that your child is involved in a bad friendship help
them evaluate the friendship by asking them questions like:
- Does your friend make you feel good?
- Do you ever wonder if your friend says bad things about you behind your back?
- Does your friend ever ask you to do things that you are uncomfortable with?
- Does your friend make you feel like you are not as good as they are?
- Does your friend not like it when you hang out with other people?
- Does your friend ask you to contribute more to the relationship?
- Does your friendship make you feel safe and comfortable?
By asking your child these questions you can get them thinking about
the friendship and if it is really a positive thing in their life.
You can’t force your child to drop a friend just because you feel it
is negative. In fact telling your child that you don’t like a certain
friend can backfire. But you can ask your child questions to get them
thinking about the friendship and the qualities that a good friend has.
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