Family Meetings

What is a family meeting? A family meeting is a time when family members can freely discuss their schedule, feelings, conflicts, and achievements. It is a time when families can come together share, listen, empathize, and help each other solve problems. In a family meeting everyone can participate without fear of judgment or punishment.

How often should family meetings occur? Some families only hold a family meeting when there is a large issue to discuss such as a family vacation, moving, or the birth of a new child. Other families hold weekly or at least monthly meetings, which is the suggested method. This ensures that issues that need to be discussed don’t have to wait for an extended period of time. Choose a time when every family member can be present. Our family holds family meeting on Sunday evenings.

Who should lead the meeting? It is a good idea to rotate the meeting leader. This gives children who don’t speak up as much a chance to be heard. It also gives each child the opportunity to take on a leadership role. Children who are old enough to read and write are old enough to lead by themselves. Younger children can lead with the help of a parent. The leader decides what topics will be addressed, calls on people to speak, and keeps order in the meeting.

What topics should be discussed? It is a good idea to start out with everyone saying something positive that happened to him or her since the last family meeting. It is a great confidence builder to have your entire family listen to what you have accomplished and receive applause or praise.

Then move onto any major issues or decisions that need to be talked about. Family members can vote on issues if applicable or parents can just let the children know about something. Allow time for your children to ask questions and express their opinions.

Many families discuss their schedules for the upcoming week during a family meeting. Bring out the calendar and write down all of the activities that you will be doing and make sure everyone is aware.

In a family meeting it is also important to take time for the small stuff. Allow children and parents to bring up issues. If a decision needs to be discussed before being made by the parents tell your children that you will let them know at the next family meeting.

1. Keep a list. Since it is easy to forget the issues you have during the heat of the meeting have a place where family members can write down topics that they want to discuss. One family keeps a list on the fridge. Family members can easily refer to the list to see what will take place at the meeting.

2. Have an agenda. Know what you want to discuss before the meeting starts. This helps keep the meeting on track. If you have a family list this is a great place to start.

3. Take notes. Taking notes of the decisions that are made in a family meeting is valuable because the notes can easily be referred to later if similar issues arise. Preventing the need for the topic to be discussed again.

4. Teach listening skills. Teach your children that in a family meeting every voice has the right to be heard. Only one person should speak at a time. Family meetings are not the place for members to get upset. Learning to accept criticism without overreacting is key to having a successful family meeting.

5. Offer praise. At the end of the meeting praise family members for listening, taking turns, and being considerate.

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