Balancing Work and Family

Balancing between work and family can be difficult. You may feel like you are neglecting one or the other. Since I work at home I know that for me I often have to stop myself from working and take a break to spend some time with my children. It is easy to focus on meeting their physical needs throughout the day but not actually play with them. For parents who work outside the home the meshing of work and family life can be even a greater challenge. Here are some ideas on how you can balance the two.

First, it is important that both parents are happy with the tasks that they have to do in the home. Each spouse needs to feel like contributions are equal. Dr. John Gottman in his book The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work talks about how married men are happier when they participate in household tasks. They were more involved in their marriages as a whole and their wives were happier as well.

Second, you need to focus on the task at hand whether you are at work or home. This can
be vital to balance work and life when both – husband and wife are working professionals. Dr. Sandra Bailey a professor of Family and Human Development at Montana State talks about reducing “spillover”. She refers to spillover as thinking about the family while at work or work while at home with the family. This spillover causes people to be less effective in their roles. She suggests that parents take driving time to adjust “from being an employee to a mother and wife or a father and husband” or vice versa. My husband always changes his clothes when he gets home from work. When he’s had a particularly stressful day he often has to remind himself to leave work at work and enjoy his time at home.

Third, evaluate your home and work situations. Does your work schedule allow you time with your family? Do you have time to spend with your wife and kids? Do you have time to relax every day? Do you find yourself constantly thinking about work? Do you have enough energy to be a good parent when you are home? Do you have time to complete the necessary household tasks? Depending upon how you answered the questions you may need to reevaluate your work situation. Of course for many parents changing jobs or your work situation is not a possibility. But you can make the most of the time you have at home by sharing household chores with your spouse and leaving work at work.

I often tell myself that it is more important that my children are happy and that we spend time together than that my house is spotless. After all when you look back on your life you will probably measure your success by your family rather than your job.