For many reasons a great number of parents now rely on someone else to care for their young children during the day. Some can count on grand parents or other relatives for the care. A small percentage of families employ their own nanny, baby-sitter, or au pair. Many find a "home care" provider, someone in the business of looking after a small group or youngsters in her own home. Still other parents rely on day car centers, which often handle large numbers of children.

No matter what the arrangement, many parents fret about how day care would affect their child and if what they are doing is a right decision. These are hard questions without simple answers. I believe that any honest consideration of day care starts with an undeniable truth: in caring for a child, nobody can take the place of a loving parent. No one else can give the same devotion and understanding. No one else -except perhaps grandparents- harbors such hopes and dreams. No one else has the patience and single-minded attentiveness to this particular child among all children.

Still some form of day care may be necessary in your circumstances. In that case, you want to find a place that comes as close as possible to giving the kind of attention and affection you shower on your child. You want a place where someone helps satisfy her own curiosity. If a child is an infant, you want a place where someone is always there to pick her up, rock her, talk to her, smile back when she smiles, watch her while she crawls about, and help her feel that the world is warm and friendly. If your child is a toddler or older preschooler, you want a day care that offers a stimulating environment for her to explore, a place where an adult genuinely wants to help her learn. You want someone who patiently asks and answers questions, reads stories aloud, sings songs, plays games, helps her stack those blocks, and shows excitement over her scribbles.

That kind of high quality substitute care is not easy to come by. Much day care is little more than custodial care-someone who feeds and watches over children, diapers or wipes their noses when necessary, perhaps plays with them some, but basically just keeps them safe and reasonably comfortable until it is time to go home. In many cases, the quality of care that children get is not what is should be.

Even in places where the care is "adequate," the questions still arise: what are the effects on children who are separated from their parents for much of their young lives? There are conflicting arguments. Day care proponents say that if the quality of car is good, it does not really affect children at all. Critics want that too much time spent in a day care can cause psychological, social and behavior problems. Widespread use of day care is still a relatively recent phenomenon and social scientists have not had enough time to measure its lasting effects. The best that can be said is not very comforting: no one really knows for sure.

Parents must therefore rely on their own common sense. Common sense tells us that, since youngsters are not all alike, and since the quality of day care varies tremendously from place to place, the effects are going to differ from child to child. Some children will be fine spending a few hours a day from both parents and being well looked after in an excellent day care. For others, though, the separation may pose developmental risks, risks apt to be deepened in a sub-par day care center. Parents know their own children best, and that makes them the best judges of what is safe and right.

Ask yourself some important questions. First of all, is it necessary to put your child in a full-time day care? We believe "necessary" is the true standard you should use. Come up with another option if you can. Some parents set up home offices so that they can be near their kids at least part of the week. Some moms and dads work alternate shifts to ensure one parent is always home. Still others find weekend work to help with expenses and allow continual parental care.

Many parents (such as single moms) have no choice but to use day care. They may not like it, but they have no viable alternative. Let us be honest though. There are some moms and dads in this country who place their children in day care forty or more hours a week- almost from the time that they are born- when they do not really have to. They often do it for the sake of a high-status position, a fancier home, or expensive vacations. Here in the wealthiest country in the world, many of us now send our kids off to be raised by others. That should give us all a pause. Generally, I would advice against turning your little one over to someone if it is avoidable.

About the Author

MyBabyBoutique.Net offers unique Educational Toys, Baby Toys and Wooden Toys for children ages 0-10 years old.