The problem is that children dont arrive with an owners handbook.

Which is tragic, really, considering the fact that they are embarking on the most important task of their lives. After all, the success of their children depends, to a large part on their success as parents. And the success of each generation, of the neighborhood, even of the country and the continent, depends, to a large extent, on the success of that generations parents in raising them.

By definition, most parents are "average" and their children grow up to lead "average" lives. They find, and keep, a job, find a loving partner, and do a reasonable job of raising the children.

But is "average" all that we want for our kids and our society?

First, if average is average, then half the population are below average. We see the results of that all around us - crime, poverty, prostitution, homelessness, child abuse and so on. And we see the cycles of depravation repeated from one generation to the next. As ineffectual parents pass on their lack of skills to their children.

But suppose we could rase that level of "average"? Suppose we could give all this new generation some new skills so that when they become parents they have something better to pass on to the next generation? Wouldnt that result in a better outcome for ALL of us?

Second, in a multi-cultural, complex society we need ever better leaders. Men and women who are "whole" - not bogged down by insecurities, hurts and fears that result in corruption, hidden agendas and selfish ambition. We need leaders, in all areas of society, not just politics, who have a capacity for love, generosity, compassion and tolerance. From where do such qualities come? From growing up in secure, loving, and confident families, thats where.

Third, look to your own family. Look at how you were raised. Most likely your parents did the best they could, yet I am sure you can see areas in which they failed - with resulting hurts and insecurities that have bogged you down for your entire life. You dont want to pass that on to your children, but are you really any better informed about the process of bringing up children than your parents were?

How can you teach and guide your children when all you have is your parents example to guide you? Unless we take deliberate steps to improve our knowledge and understanding, all we can do is operate out of ignorance and guesswork. Is that good enough for your children and their children? Perhaps it was "good enough" for you as a child, but was it the best it could have been?

So why is it that the idea of getting some training as a parent is so repugnant to most people? Why is there such a social stigma to the idea of admitting that, when it comes to raising kids, we dont know it all?

Isnt that just shear madness? In every other area of life we pay good money and invest many hours of time to get the training we need to learn new skills. Yet when it comes to raising our own children, we think we can just make it up as we go along?

Isnt it time we moved on from that? Isnt it time that the normal expectation would be that people take parenting training at various points along the journey, just as the normal expectation, now, is that expectant mothers take ante-natal classes?

Isnt it time that this changed? Isnt it time that we made a more deliberate, and systematic, effort to better equip parents with the parenting skills and advice they need?

So what about yourself? How much effort have you made to learn about child development or the right way to inspire and motivate your own children to greatness? Do you know the right and wrong way to use punishments and rewards? How to correctly teach responsibility? Wouldnt it be worth the investment of a few dollars and a few hours to get some new insights into this?

And how will your children learn good parenting skills? Should they just watch what you do and copy that?

It seems to me that something that crucial for the success of individuals and of society should be systematically taught in school, right alongside the other essentials for life, such as reading, writing and math.

So, when you are next watching some horrific human tragedy - a murder, rape, or suicide - unfold on the news, ask yourself, "could we have prevented this by giving that persons parents and grandparents better parenting skills, advice, and guidance?".

Then go and get yourself a parenting book. Read it. Discuss it with your friends. You might be amazed at what you discover!
About the Author

Dr. Noel Swansons website provides free expert parenting tips - just sign up for his newsletter and get a free chapter of his book, The GOOD CHILD Guide. You can also meet with other parents on a parenting forum.