Life Strategy for Parents of TeenagersThe English word "crisis" is translated by the Chinese with two little Characters; one means "danger," the other "Opportunity.
...Jean Hougk
One thing that never seizes to amaze me is that , just when I think I have everything all figured out, something happens to throw me completely out of sync. Take the other day, after having successfully come through a major family crisis, I knew that nothing, just nothing, would ever shake my confidence in God again. What I was slowly learning was that as long as I am willing to hang in there trusting God in the face of all impossibilities, I would come out victorious. I have tried to live this way now for many years, and as I get older, it appears that the challenges get tougher. For some time, I have tried to work out why I loose some minor battles, and win out in some major ones. I figured out that the times when I lost the battles were those times when things looked so impossible that I felt it was better to throw in the towel! Give up! Quit!!
As I followed this line of thought, I learnt that my job is to stick things out and trust him. Do the best I can and look up to him. Convinced of this, I made the declaration to my self that nothing would ever throw me again. After forty something odd years, I had finally learned the secret.
And then it happened. A parents nightmare. One of my teenage children did not come home from a visit to a friend house. At about 11 p.m realizing how late it was, I called him on his mobile telephone and was informed in a rather incoherent manner that he did not think he was coming home that night. We had had problems off and on with this particular child and at this stage, I felt that we were now reaching some understanding and that things were beginning to settle down. He did not want to tell me where he was, and was quite certain he would not be coming home that night. While having this conversation with him on the phone, a million images fought for attention in my mind. Where was he, what was he doing, all the things the news media is filled with crowded my mind. My husband was away on a business trip to another continent, and even if I called him, what could he do from where he was. I tried to reason with my son, I pleaded, I threatened, I cried, ...for the most part he did not say much. He also did not hang up the phone on me either. At the end, out of frustration, I banged the phone on him. Later when I tried to call back, he had switched off his mobile phone.
Not wanting to wake the other children up, I went to the sitting room, sat on my favorite chair and wept. Somewhere at the back of my mind I remembered God, but with the seriousness of this latest crisis, he seemed so very far away, almost irrelevant when compared to the very immediate situation I was facing. My son, I could see him now, was probably holed up God knows where, doing things I dared not even think about. Who was he with, what would happen to him, I thought of calling the police, but gave up that thought immediately. They would only tell me that they can only report him missing after 48 hours. My thoughts turned again to God, how I wish I could see him physically now.
I would ask why he would let such a thing happen, why was it taking so long to have the turn around I so desired from him, after a while of thinking this or that, and purely because I felt I ought to do something, I picked up my old worn confession book and mechanically began to recite the biblical affirmations compiled. These confessions or biblical affirmation were taken out of scriptures and they ranged from confessions of my position in Christ Jesus to confessions of Gods provisions. It usually took me about 30 minutes to go through these particular set of confession, and I had done these mechanically every morning for about nine months now. It was part of my morning devotion ritual, the idea being that I would build into my spirit or as some would call it my subconscious mind some positive affirmations that would reprogramme me, and would come in handy on a day of crisis. The day of crisis was now here, and as I went through these confessions mechanically, I really did not think these particular set of confessions were particularly relevant to the matter at hand, but I said them anyway. Since I could not reach my son again by telephone, and I had no one to unburden to ,nor appetite for prayer, I felt the only thing to do was to mechanically do the confessions. That would at least take care of the next thirty minutes. I dared not think of what I would do after that.
And then it happened. I got through saying my confessions, and realized that my frightened heart had somewhat quietened down, and in the time it took me to complete the last sentences, I realized that where before there was despair, hope had come back in, and with it the old fighting spirit. I was no longer the dejected mother , in her place was the fighting mum. No way was the devil going to steal my child. I would fight, and I would win. Like a lion after her cub, I completed my confessions and charged with prayer. I prayed, I praised, I sang hymns, I demanded that my son come home. And I did not cry. Some hours later, thoroughly exhausted I thanked God for taking care of my child wherever he was, and reminded him that I would keep trusting him to bring my son home safely. And then I went to sleep in peace. One could say I was emotionally exhausted, but I do not think so, I had peace.
The next day through calls to some of his friends, I was able to find out that my son had spent the night at a friends house. A friend whose parents were away on vacation. When I went later in the morning to pick him up, they were all still sleeping. Meekly he got into the car with me and we drove home. Though the troubles at home did not all get resolved immediately, everyday we had some victories, but the greatest victory of all for me, was my confidence in God. I did not give up, I did the only thing I could, and God saw me through.
It is now sometime since we have had any such major blow outs at home. In this crisis, one truth shines bright and clear to me. Nothing beats confessing the scriptures in bringing peace to an overwhelmed mind. I must add though that confessions appears to manifest instantaneous results if one has already some routine of saying these affirmations , preferably before a crisis. Someone has said, "In consistency lies the power" Done this way, in the face a crisis, the effect of confessions is instantaneous. This has been my experience and that of those whom I know have made this way of life theirs. For those who would like to know more about how confession works, see my article "The power of Gods word" or how to wield the Sword of the spirit"
