Being the oldest of 7 children there were always MANY chores to do in our home. It always seemed like those of us at the ?top of the food chain? had many more chores than those at the bottom end. I remember feeling totally ripped off that I did not receive an allowance for doing my ?jobs?. My friends who lived next door got $10 a week for doing the things that were on their weekly list.

My mom would always tell us that in order to make the house run in a somewhat orderly fashion we needed to do what was requested of us. She did not make our rooms a mess or wear our clothes or play with our toys so why we thought that she would a) be the only person cleaning the house or b) pay us to clean up the mess that we made was unfathomable to her.

So, I lived my life ?allowance-less?. I realize that one of the big arguments for giving children an allowance is to teach the basics of money and how to be responsible spenders. I think that I did OK though. I paid my own way through a private college, I bought all of my own cars without a co-signer, I have never been in trouble with credit card debt and I have a savings account.

I am now the mother or 3 children. I do not make their rooms a mess, I do not wear their clothes and I do not play with all their toys. Is the past coming back to haunt me? I think that I am following in the footsteps of my mother. Granted, my children are 5, 3 and 1 and I can not expect them to do a chore list. What should I require them to do as they grow up and should I be giving them an allowance to do so?

I think that I have come up with a happy medium that I will be able to implement with a lot of success. For me it will be the best of both worlds. As my children grow up and are capable of different chores their list will change. I will always keep their contributions to our family and our home to what is age appropriate. These lists are what I know that they will grow into.

MANDATORY CHORES (Those chores that are required to maintain our household on a daily basis so they will not qualify for an allowance.)

1. Cleaning his/her bedroom.

2. Sorting dirty laundry

3. Putting clothes away in drawers and closets.

4. Setting the table and clearing the table for meals.

5. Loading and unloading the dishwasher.

6. Tidy the bathroom after he/she uses it.

7. Pick up and put away ?toys?.

OPTIONAL CHORES (Those chores that need to be done to maintain a household but that we as parents ? mother and father ? will do. If the children want to participate they will receive an allowance.)

1. Cleaning the kitchen. This would include washing the countertops, wiping down the appliances and the microwave and cleaning out the sink.

2. Cleaning the kitchen floors. This would involve sweeping the floor and vacuuming up the dirt and then washing or mopping the floor.

3. Cleaning the bathrooms. (This will be the job that I would most like to give up and will probably pay the most for) The list would have to include washing out the sinks, washing out the tub, cleaning the toilets (YUCK!!), cleaning the mirrors and washing the floor.

4. Vacuuming, mopping and dusting. There is nothing like the look of a newly vacuumed carpet or the smell of washed hardwood floors. Our house was always divided by upper level, main level and basement. I think that I will keep that tradition with my children. So the task will be to mop or vacuum the appropriate floor and dust where it is needed.

5. Trash. My husband does this chore now and I?m not sure that he will be willing to give it up. If he does, the willing participant will go around the house and empty each trash can, replace a new trash bag in the can and take all the trash out to the trash bin in the garage.

6. Yard work. This is another thing that my husband does but I think he will enjoy the help on this one. Our yard is filled with oak trees so you can imagine what that means. Fall comes along and there are more leaves to bag than you could possibly imagine. I think that we could pay $2 a bag (as long as the whole yard was done that day) and everyone would be happy.

I know that you might be thinking that there are many components to each chore. I thought about assigning a price for each chore but then I realized that in doing that I may teach my children that not completing a task in full is OK. I want them to learn how to start and complete a task the way that I would do it and have the end result be something that they would like to live in. I want them to be proud of their end result.

I want to instill in my children a strong work ethic and teach them that may not always get paid or paid fairly for the work that they do. It does not lessen the fact that the work they do is important and contributing to our family will be something that I will always cherish and that they should take great pride in.

When I start to teach my children how to do chores ? mandatory or optional ? I will do it in bite size pieces. Just as our children have to learn to crawl, then cruise, then walk, then run, I believe that teaching them life skills should also be approached in this manner. But honestly, the sooner my 5 year old wants to make some money and clean the bathroom I will be her biggest fan!

So, I guess that I will follow in my parents footsteps and join the ranks of those parents who do not give an allowance to their children. I will have to be diligent in teaching my children about the value of money some other way. I can only hope that I do as well instilling a good work ethic and an understanding of financial matters with my children as my parents did with me.

Dayna Palmer is a mother of 3 children ? 1 girl and 2 boys ? ages 5, 3, and 1 and lives in Roanoke, VA. She is actively involved in bringing parents and kids together with area businesses and organizations through her popular kids website. Dayna Palmer?s website Roanoke4Kids.com provides families with a local events calendar, kid friendly businesses and organization, job listings for childcare workers, a classified buy & sell forum and other local kid worthy information. RoanokeForKids.com is the only website in the Roanoke area dedicated to ?all things kids?.