It seems that everyone you meet is overly intense and stressed about nearly everything they do. Remember when kids got together with their friends to play a ball game just because they wanted to get together and play a ball game? Remember when they went to school and learned and got good grades because it felt good to learn and to be rewarded for their efforts? Remember when kids would play an instrument in the grade school band because they got to learn how to play an instrument and it was fun, not because they could use that to possibly get a scholarship ten years later and get into a "better" college? Well apparently those days are gone.

Maybe.

Perhaps its not too late for our children to get some fun back into their childhood. Perhaps its not too late for us to have some fun again with our kids. As parents ourselves, we know what its like to want only the best for your children. We all want our kids to have the best opportunities in life; to not miss out on any experiences. Sometimes, though, we need to stop and ask "Is this a necessary activity?" "Does my child really want to be doing this right now?" "Could we maybe use this time to just have fun!?"

Studies are showing that children today are more stressed than they have ever been. They feel overwhelmed with the amount of time they spend on schoolwork and outside activities. They feel pressured from parents, coaches, and educators to excel in everything they do. Of course, this is not realistic for most children. The average child will be great at a few things they try and maybe average at everything else. This is normal.

If you are concerned about how your children are dealing with the stresses of their lives, here are some steps you can follow to evaluate and improve the situation for your kids and yourselves.

Check to see if your kids are getting enough sleep. If they consistently have a hard time going to sleep, wake up during the night or have a difficult time waking in the morning, they may not be getting enough sleep. 7-12 year-olds need 10-11 hours of sleep per night. 13-17 year-olds need 8 - 9 1/2 hours of sleep per night. A large percentage of children do not get this much sleep and this strongly affects their health and daily performance.

Talk with your kids. Many parents just assume their children want to be involved in every activity possible, however many children have expressed that they feel they are doing too much. Find out what they really want to be doing and what can be eliminated from their schedule. Ask them if they are having fun with extracurricular activities. If not, is it necessary to continue?

Monitor your children?s grades. A significant drop in grades can signal your child is overwhelmed or having other concerns. Talk with your child and your childs teacher to find out why the change has occurred.

Monitor coaches, teachers, and other people your children are involved with. Do any of these people yell at your children? Do they put undue pressure on your children to be "perfect"? If so, some changes need to be made. These people should be encouraging your child to succeed in a positive way. Many kids are suffering from low self-esteem and they dont need other people reinforcing the idea that they are not good enough people. Don?t forget to monitor how you speak to your kids. Sometimes as parents we say things to our children we don?t realize will be harmful.

Make changes to your child?s schedule when necessary. Its okay to say "I think you are doing too many activities" or "You seem to be having trouble in school, lets cut back a bit on other things to make it a little easier for you." It may not be the most popular choice, but in the long run your child will thank you for being in control and watching out for their best interests.

Take some time to just have fun. Kids need fun; parents need fun, take time to have some fun together. There is nothing wrong with having a little down time and just enjoying life. Give your child and yourself permission to just relax and have a good time together. This can do wonders for everyone involved.

Be sure to look for part two of our article which will outline some ways to help you and your children "just have fun!"

Karen Grant, RN, SLP is CEO of AquaNova Designs, Inc., publisher of WOW! eKids Magazine. She invites you to just have fun and view WOW! eKids Magazine for free at WOW! eKids Magazine is devoted to helping children ages 7 to 11 have fun while reinforcing their skills and knowledge in areas ranging from math, science, and geography, to reading, problem solving and social skills development. The magazine also has an ever-expanding range of resources and information for parents and educators.