How to Raise Honest Kids in a Dishonest World

Posted on 09. Apr, 2009 by TheCuteKid Photo Contest in Break into Showbiz, Development, Model & Actor Tips, Parenting

Everyday, you see people being rewarded for taking the easy way out, but teaching your kids that lying is never the right path is one of the most valuable lessons they’ll learn.

Raising Honest Kids in a Dishonest World

Little white lies are more harmful than you think…

by Vicki Salemi

Whether it’s a high ranking government official like New York Governor Elliot Spitzer falling from grace, or an athletic hero being accused of steroid use like Roger Clemens, today’s role models are questionable at best. When it comes to ethics and integrity, people can either take the hard right or the easy wrong, and lately the easy wrong has been highlighted. That said, how can you effectively instill ethics in your kid? How do you teach him to tell the truth and ultimately do what is right?

Set an Example
According to Dr. Kevin Leman, author of Have a New Kid by Friday (Revell Books, 2008), ethics and morality are reflective of good parenting. “When you have little ones, it’s important to build parameters,” he explains. “This will form what’s right and wrong in their minds. Kids take psychological, emotional, and spiritual notes on how you live your life.”

For instance, when you’re in a supermarket, if the clerk makes a mistake and gives you $10 change instead of $5, make a point of returning the excess money. “You need to live the life that your kids will emulate,” he says.  “When it comes to ethics and morality, they’ll be watching you.”

The Power of a Lie
As you demonstrate ethical behavior and point out lessons along the way, it’s important to hold children accountable for their fibs, too.  Dr. Leman suggests taking away a freedom or luxury they’re accustomed to such as playing with friends after school.

“When you catch them in a lie, let them know you’re disappointed that they lied,” he says. Then, wait for a teachable moment to connect the dots and show them how telling falsehoods can have negative consequences. For instance, you can explain that by lying about your homework being done so you can play, you won’t be able to ask for help if you need it because you’ll end up doing assignments on the sneak.

Since parents become immersed in shaping their child’s sense of values, taking away certain freedoms and teaching various lessons equate to power.  Parents who let things go too often are essentially relinquishing their power and ability to foster integrity within their household. This is why, Dr. Leman says, it’s important to retain your power and send a clear message that you won’t tolerate lies in order to turn around their behavior.

You Lie, You Lose
One method is to explain your disappointment. “Kids don’t want you to be upset with them. If you turn your back and walk away to say you’re disappointed, they will come after you,” he says. Another way is to show how a lie might affect others.  For instance, if one child lies about doing his chores, the whole family may not get to go on a camping trip as a result.

The most important way to curb lying, however, is to promote and praise honesty. It’s hard to tell the truth sometimes, so use the news and pop culture to illustrate why lying makes the consequences even worse. Unfortunately, finding such examples will be all too easy.

What kinds of little white lies have you let slide?

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Tags: children lie, kids that lie, mommy advice, my kid lying, parent advice, parent center, Parenting, parents