One of the most significant jobs you surely have as a parent is keeping your child safe while riding in a car. Thousands of young children are killed or injured in car crashes every year. The correct use of car safety seats helps keep children safe in case there is a car crash. Nevertheless, with so many different car safety seats out on the market right now, it’s no wonder why so many parents find this overwhelming. The type of car seat your child needs depends on quite a few things, including the size of your child and the type of motor vehicle you may have.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) highly recommends that all infants should ride rear-facing right from the first ride home from the hospital. They ought to remain rear-facing until they reach the highest height or weight allowed by the manufacturer of their car safety seat.  At a bare minimum, children should ride rear-facing until they weigh at least 20 pounds or are at least 1 year of age. Once your child has reached the highest weight or height permitted by the manufacturer of the seat for rear-facing, she/he can ride forward-facing in a more convertible seat. Nevertheless, it is best for him/her to ride rear-facing to the highest weight or height allowed by the manufacturer of his/her car safety seat. She/he should ride in a forward-facing seat with a harness until he/she outgrows it, which in most cases would usually be at approximately 4 years of age and about when your child weights 40–65 pounds.

Once your child has outgrown his/her forward-facing car safety seats, they are now old enough for a Booster seat. It is in everyone’s best interest for children to ride in a harnessed seat as long as it is possible, which would mean at least to 4 years of age. If your child outgrows his/her seat before reaching 4 years of age, you should consider using a seat with a harness approved for children with higher weights and heights. Booster seats should be used with a shoulder and a lap belt and should never be a lap-only belt. When you are using a booster seat for your child, you must make sure that the lap belt lies low and fits perfectly across your child’s upper thighs. The shoulder belt should also be crossed in the middle of your child’s chest and shoulder.

Remember, be a good role model and make sure you always wear your seat belt. Our children always observe and learn from their parents. If you are not sure of how to use any of the safety recommendations for your infants always call the manufacture or read the instructions and make sure that you install your infant’ safety gadgets properly.

And Teach Them to Value the Dollar

by Vicki Salemi

In this age of designer toddler clothes and cell phones for second graders, here’s how two parents keep their spending in check, and keep the kids’ tastes down to earth.

Don’t succumb to peer pressure.  For David Mott, father of two, that means no video games in his home. “If other parents let their kids play, that’s their problem. I also don’t prohibit my kids from playing video games when they visit friends. I just explain to my kids my reasons for not allowing video games in my house. Reading and outdoor physical activity are healthier alternatives.”

Keep it simple.  “Sunsets are free. All you have to do is look,” says Mott.  “Like Rachael Ray says, ‘You can live richly without being rich.’ For me, this joy comes from cooking, hiking, cycling, reading. When I take my kids to Santa Cruz, I make it a point of pride to not cave into paying money at the boardwalk every time. We do hit the rides occasionally. But I teach them there is value in appreciating nature.”

Establish boundaries. If you don’t instill the value of the dollar now, it’ll be much more difficult to do later on when the treats get pricier.  Mott explains, “It’s important to set strict boundaries now to help them build limits. Free spending youths can turn into free spending adults with credit problems.”

Set an example. If you want to keep your kids grounded, it’s important to practice what you preach.  For instance, Mott is well educated and can afford to live more lavishly yet he chooses to not overspend.  “I try to be happy and grateful for what I already have in my life and that sort of rubs off on my kids,” he says.
Avoid specific stores. If you want to avoid tempting treats, simply don’t go into high-end stores, which may easily lure you to the cash register.  Shea Kelly, mother of a two year-old daughter and president/CEO of Chez Shea Baby, Inc. and DaBib, explains, “I focus almost exclusively on Target and Old Navy. Their stuff is adorable.” Sure, there’s also adorable clothing at Baby Gap and it’s OK to occasionally break down, she says,  but she makes it a habit of routinely going to the less expensive stores.

Create priorities. “If comes down to what you need to have versus what you want to have,” Kelly adds. “You can’t have everything you want.”  Plus, this instills a sense of values so when her daughter is older, she’ll be able to distinguish the two: what is absolutely essential versus what she wants.  “You learn to set a value associated with whatever those things are.”

Establish a rewards system. Rather than instantaneously giving your kid a new video game, parents like Kelly envision establishing an allowance when her daughter is a bit older. “There should be a sense of reward via an allowance,” she says.  This way, kids will get paid for doing chores around the house and may spend their hard earned money instead of spending yours.

If money were no object, do you think it’s OK to indulge or better to be frugal?

6 Ways to Avoid Toddler Food Fights

Take the drama out of mealtime

By Dawn Papandrea

Karen Wright of Mankato, MN buys ketchup in bulk. Without it, her three-year-old son Grant refuses to eat anything — not graham crackers, cheese, or even yogurt. “At least it has lycopene and vitamin C,” she reasons. Plus, she’s hoping that eventually he’ll grow out of it.

From condiment gross-outs to tantrums over sandwiches with crust left on, toddler mealtime mania can be difficult to digest, but experts say it’s normal.

“Toddlers don’t have the same voracious appetites as babies do because they aren’t growing at as rapid a rate,” says Ann Douglas, author of the book “Mother of All Mealtime Solutions.” Therefore, they’re more likely to equate high chair time with experiment time.

In fact, Douglas says, “they’re little scientists at the dinner table.” Whether it’s investigating different food textures or establishing a sense of order, eating is simply one way that toddlers explore their world.

Here are six ways you can avoid daily food fights:

Brush up on your biology. They’re not just being picky. Toddler tastebuds are far more sensitive than yours, so bold flavors like Brussels sprouts, can be overpowering. Hint: If your child gags, he’s not faking. If you must, use creativity to sneak veggie servings in. For example, the mashed potato lover will most likely enjoy butternut squash. Dipping sauces and fun shapes can help, too, as well as fine chopping mixed veggies into rice and noodle dishes.

Nibbling counts. Don’t take it personally if your little one seems to be on a mealtime hunger strike. He will not go hungry. Provide healthy snacks that your child can munch on during playtime – sometimes this is referred to as grazing. All nutrients count even if they’re not eaten at the dinner table.

Cater to control-freak tendencies — sometimes. Establishing a sense of order manifests itself as a need to follow certain food rules (hence, why grilled cheese must be cut into triangles or different foods cannot touch). If separating peas from carrots will prevent a meltdown, it’s worth the few extra prep seconds, says Douglas. Just don’t give into every demand, all the time.

Tame texture trauma. How food feels is a big deal for little eaters, so pay attention to preferences. If soft, mushy foods are getting tossed, try offering raw veggies, toasted sandwich bread, and dry cereal (with a side of milk).

A method to food throwing madness. Rule of thumb: Don’t expect toddlers to sit patiently for more than 30 minutes. When she starts catapulting carrots, it’s a good indication that she is full or bored. It’s probably best to let her play with the refrigerator magnets or offer a high chair toy or two, so you can finish your meal.

Table manners are an acquired taste. She’s not trying to make a mess; she’s trying to figure out how spaghetti “works,” reminds Douglas. Let her, so long as you point out and praise examples of good table manners along the way. By the time she’s a preschooler, she’ll most likely pick up good table habits of those around her.

What are your toddler’s quirky food habits?

The Brady Bunch and Beyond

Step families today

By Michelle Bruns

There is no such thing as too much love. And, nowadays, stepfamilies, or “blended families” are more common than even the beloved Brady Bunch was in 1969. According to the most recent U.S. Census Bureau’s report, Living Arrangements of Children: 2004, 11 percent of children (5.7 million) under the age of 18 live with one biological or adoptive parent and one stepparent.

Despite these growing statistics, sometimes I cannot help but wonder if my son will feel “different” in our blended family situation. But, the more I learn about it and the more our family unifies, I realized that our “non-biofamily” is more of a blessing than I would have ever known. Certainly, every family is different and there is no way to consider every possible scenario but, overall, blended families can fulfill the same basic needs as a traditional family. And, after divorce, a blended family can provide safety, comfort, encouragement, and a sense of belonging, even more so than a single parent. However, it is vital that members of a blended family recognize their special dynamic in order to maintain expectations and adjust to their evolving household.

According to Peter Gerlach, a board member for the Retired Stepfamily Association of America, the biggest failure stepfamilies make is to fall for common stepfamily myths, such as:

• “What I’ve learned in my first-marriage family should work well enough in my new family. Experience counts! We’re not really that different!”

• “I should (i.e. must) love my stepchild(ren), and treat them just like my own.”

• “If I disagree with my stepchild or their other bioparent, my mate will usually support me without great guilt or anxiety.”

• “As a bioparent, I shouldn’t have to choose between my new mate and my child(ren)!”

• “My mate’s absent minor or grown kids will never come to live with us permanently.”

• “If I’m consistently honest, sincere, and warm, my stepchild(ren) will surely come to like (or love) and respect me.”

• “Your and my kids could never come between us!”

Have you made some (or all) of these assumptions? Try not to be too hard on yourself. Merging two families into one is not an easy feat, and doing your best to learn along the way is the key to a healthy family environment. Although the challenges of raising a blended family can be great, so can the reward. The story I heard of a child feeling sorry for another child because they have eight grandparents when the other child only has four gives me hope that an acceptance of the stepfamily as a family unit is on the rise.

When you are feeling frustrated or doubting that you are making the right decisions, remind yourself that even “biofamilies” encounter bumps, pitfalls, and challenges in raising a family, so do not dismay. Instead of worrying whether or not your modern day family is sticking out like a sore thumb, focus on embracing the love that your expanded family can bring you. After all, you are not alone!

How have you helped your child(ren) cope in your new family?

5 tips to keep in mind as you approach (dread) college exploration time

by Gina LaGuardia

How the day got here is beyond you. All of a sudden, that little girl in pigtails who used to cling to your leg is spending more time surfing college Web sites than downloading videos off YouTube (for now, anyway). Last week she wanted to go to nursing school, this week it’s business, just last month it was engineering. Though an array an opportunities await her – she can, after all, be anything she wants – so does the confusion on how to start planning for college, which college to choose, and how to pay for it all….

Here’s a list of five tips to ease your mind in between pangs of nostalgia for lollipops and playdates being replaced with tuition price comparisons and the thought of her dorming:

1)    Know that there will be hurdles. With so much choice and so little knowledge (your college days are a long way off and times have definitely changed!), expect some confusion. To prevent information overload, hit into a trusted site like The CollegeBound Network http://www.collegebound.net/college, which has been advising college-bound teens on colleges, careers, and more since 1996 and provides easy-to-search profiles of four-year and community colleges along with career schools that offer specific training based on your teen’s professional interests.

2)    Get organized. If you thought organizing your child’s diaper bag way back when was key to your sanity, think again. Helping her manage all of her  college mail, emails, open house material, and then applications, essays, and recommendation letters (oh my!) is a job in itself. Use a calendar, charts, and a foolproof filing method you’re comfortable with, advise experts at College Data.com (https://www.collegedata.com/cs/content/content_getinarticle_tmpl.jhtml?articleId=10053). “The most important thing is to find a system that works for you. It does not matter if it’s an old-fashioned wall calendar, a stack of folders, an electronic spreadsheet, or all of these.” Some ideas to help get things in order: Separate schools by “Yes” factors that mean something to your child: Where a school is located, majors offered, cost. Then work through your files/choices that way to start.

3)    Avoid the December mania. We all know that preparing for the holidays is a major time suck – add college application deadlines to that mix and it’s a recipe for disaster. Unless you’re prepared. Make sure your child begins her senior year of high school ready to hit the ground running: Schedule an appointment with the school’s guidance/college counselor as soon as possible, and be sure to work on applications as soon as they are available, leaving plenty of time for reworking, proofreading, and ultimate completion and submission.

4)    Get your finances in order. Make an appointment with your financial advisor to figure out what moves (if any) need to be made with available money for tuition. The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) is available January 1 of a teen’s senior year, but you can take a look at what data you will need for it ahead of time by logging onto http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/. Experts advise familiarizing yourself with the form, the process, and then adding (and checking off) the following items form your to-do list: Determine your dependency status; review the FAFSA on the Web worksheet; search for school codes; apply for a PIN; and make note (a big note!) of application deadline dates.

5)    Remember: You’re not alone. Millions of parents have navigated these tumultuous waters many times and survived! Ask them everything you can think of, log onto sites like College Parents of America (http://www.collegeparents.org) and The College Board’s parent portal (http://www.collegeboard.com/parents/plan/), then be proud of the fact that your baby has approached this important milestone. It won’t be long before she’s walking down the graduation aisle with a college diploma in hand and you’re hit with a wave of nostalgia thinking back to these very moments. Good luck!

Gina LaGuardia, former editor-in-chief of CollegeBound Teen Magazine, is the editorial director of The CollegeBound Network. She has watched hundreds of parents stress about – and then bask in – the excitement of college plan

Famous Parents

Lessons in disguise?

by Jarrod Thalheimer

How is it even possible that Kevin Federline comes off as being the better parent to his children than Britney? How about notorious hooker-hound Charlie Sheen? He’s downright “Father Knows Best” stacked up against little Miss-Pimpin’-Out-the-Kids-for-My-New-Reality-Show Denise Richards. Are such children destined to live lives of rampant overexposure and chronic drug abuse all culminating in an early death? Is fame to blame or is it just their crappy parents?

Do Perfect Parents Exist?

And what about the other side – the picture-perfect celebrity parents? Everyone knows Angie and Brad bend over backwards in service to their tribe. As a couple they commit to making sure at least one of them is always home while the other is not. They travel together, play together, and even save the Earth together. Thanks to the tattoos and a few alternative-lifestyle forays, Angelina’s not exactly June Cleaver. But the attitude she displays toward her children appears downright responsible and mature. How frustrating is that to absorb when you fed your kid Cheetos for her last breakfast?

So what do you do? Can famous parents, good or bad, somehow help you to be a better parent?

Find a Good-Bad Example

Let’s say your children gang up and shave the neighbor’s cat butt-naked. You lose your cool, scream like a crazy woman, and then douse the whole lot of them with the garden hose. As you leave your damp offspring shivering and crying in the yard you head inside, mix up a mid-day margarita, and put up your feet and relax, secure in the knowledge that your parenting methods – as shocking as they may be – aren’t anywhere near as bad as that “monster” Alec Baldwin or perma-stoned rapper Snoop Dogg. A good-bad example can work wonders for our self esteem.

Then you have the super parents. They spout off their quotes left and right about how much they care, how good they are, and how much they provide for their little ones, but everyone knows they don’t do it alone. They have teams of nannies and assistants to ensure they never lose too much sleep or ever leave the house with baby blech on their shoulder. Perfect parenting is an illusion – making it right at home in Hollywood.

One can suggest Tom Cruise is bananas, but when my own neighbor makes his kid practice competitive bocce until 3 a.m. six nights a week you start to realize Hollywood doesn’t exactly own the franchise on crazy. Tommy-boy is just more visible than the bocce bozo next door. Besides, when you get right down to it, we all more or less think everyone else is nuts.

Where Do We Go from Here?

Knowing that there are celebs out there who aren’t exactly winning parent of the year awards doesn’t let anyone off the hook. A bad parent is a bad parent, famous or not. So if there’s anything to be gained from the rollercoaster of insanity that Hollywood families present, it’s a sound note of caution. Watch carefully all that you see. Remember you don’t know the whole story, and focus instead on committing yourself to becoming a better parent in your own right each and every single day. It’s the only thing you can really do.

We can all agree that dangling a baby off the balcony over a street in Berlin is not something we should do with a child. To waste our time lecturing that bizarre man-child Michael Jackson on what he should be doing is stupid. He went over the ledge a long time ago. Better to instead make a few mental notes about babies and balconies and focus instead on your own day-to-day adventures in the wide world of mom-and-dad-dom. Your kids will be glad you paid attention to them instead of to the tabloids.

What’s do you consider the worst celeb parenting moment?

From danger to controversy, consider this your un-wish list.

by Vicki Salemi

Let’s face it: when your kid wants you to buy a toy gun or violent video game you cringe, get a knot in your stomach, pray they’ll get over it, or all of the above. Here’s our un-wish list of toys…

Spider Man 3 New Goblin Sword – Whenever a toy has the word sword in its name, be very afraid.  Supposedly this toy is one of the best “weapons ever wielded by human hands,” but we know better.  The spring-action blade can extend to over three feet and has the potential to cause injuries.

Rubber Band Shooter - Remember those days in middle school when everyone had braces, wore rubber bands, and shot them surreptitiously to classmates throughout math class? Now, imagine a product that does the same thing (sans braces). By firing colorful rubber bands, this toy claims to promote old-fashioned fun along with a disclaimer: “do not aim at people.” So where do you think your fifth grader will be aiming?

Hip Hoppa - As soon as you look at this toy consisting of a foot board on top of an inflatable energy ball, you won’t believe your eyes. A hand grip with an adjustable strap attaches to the bouncy ball thereby promoting falls and collisions.  Here’s how it works: children are supposed to stand on the base and immediately start hopping while holding the handle tight. We’re so not fans.

My Little Baby Born – Like all cuddly dolls, toddlers are encouraged to hug and pamper this soft doll, but choking hazards abound. For instance, the small pink pacifier is attached to the baby’s pajama by a ribbon. As soon as it’s detached, the pacifier’s small part is considered a major choking hazard.

B’loonies Party Pack – Okay, we admit it that its name is cool, but that’s really the only cool thing about this kid-unfriendly product.  oung children are supposed to squeeze a ball of plastic from an enclosed squeeze tube and stick it at the end of a blowpipe. Substances such as poly vinyl acetate, ethyl acetate, and plastic fortifiers are used in this product. Translation? Flammable chemicals marketed as a children’s product.

Jack Sparrow’s Spinning Dagger - Associated with a character from Pirates of the Caribbean, this weapon is intended to strap to a child’s wrist. The dagger spins at the push of a button and electric battle-type sounds (and danger ) abound. Serious eye injuries and other calamities are inevitable.

Sticky Stones - This product in particular is very scary.  If one or more of its magnets are swallowed, they may attach themselves inside the body. The result? Intestinal perforation, infection, or blockage, which could result in death.  Magnetic stones are displayed in stores with a warning to customers that swallowed magnets may stick together causing serious infections and death. So if toys like this are potentially dangerous and have a huge disclaimer, why sell them in the first place?

Have you ever kept a recalled toy?

8 Fun Ways to Celebrate the End of the School Year

Kick off the summer break with a bang!

By Mary Fetzer

School is hard work. Kids get up early every morning to catch the bus or walk to school. They spend their afternoons in extracurricular activities and their evenings on homework. Summer break – and the freedom it brings – is definitely something to celebrate.

So how can you make the best of this fun time of the year?  Here are eight great ways to jumpstart your summer vacation…

1 – Commemorate the Season

Do something special – a picnic, a movie, a shopping spree, a ball game – to signify that the school year is over, and make it an annual event. One mom told us that she always took her kids swimming after their last class of the year. Always their first swim of the season, it truly marked the beginning of summer for them.

2 – Make a Plan
At the start of the break (or before, if possible), make a calendar of what you hope to do over the summer – all of the things you didn’t have time to do during the hustle and bustle of the school year. Keep it light and fun and, most importantly, don’t over schedule. Having your plan in writing gives you a better chance of sticking to it. But, it is summer after all, so if you skip a couple of those calendar events, who cares?

3 – Learn Something

School’s not in session, but that doesn’t mean the learning has to stop. We’re not talking about summer school, but it’s a great time to indulge kids in what they want to learn. Look into day camps that feature his or her new interest. The additional free time summer offers allows children to immerse themselves wholeheartedly into a new hobby without spelling tests looming over their heads.

4 – Go Somewhere

Millions of students and their families will travel to beaches and parks for summer break. Others will take educational trips, touring historic landmarks or cultural areas. Hit our nation’s capital and make friends with the three pandas at the National Zoo. A change of scenery is always helpful – whether it’s your one big trip for the summer or a one-day jaunt to a nearby tourist attraction, it’ll do the whole family good.

5 – Take in the Great Outdoors

What a feeling to be on the outside of those institutional walls … fresh air, green grass, sunshine. It’s healthy for children to be outside – they get Vitamin D from the sun, and some experts suggest that more contact with greenery and grass will lessen hyperactivity symptoms. And of course kids are generally more active when they’re outside, a plus in this childhood-obesity-conscious society. Limit electronic usage to an hour (or less!) per day, and don’t be tempted to use the gadgets as “babysitters.” If your child gets bored with unstructured outside time, sign him up for a day camp or a sport.

6 – Get Healthy

I was mortified to find out that in our school’s cafeteria, kids can opt to eat chicken nuggets every day. It’s not necessarily any better if your kid packs a lunch – trading food is apparently a popular lunchroom pastime. Fruits and vegetables and good food are abundant in the summer. Day one of summer vacation is the time to get kids on a three-squares-a-day schedule: no more no-time-for-breakfast morning rush, or who-knows-what-they-ate-today school lunch, or let’s-just-drive-through-McDonald’s for supper on the way to softball. Your kids will be amazed by how much energy they get from a proper diet – and you just might eat better, too!

7 – Pitch a Tent

There is nothing like the smell of a real campfire, complete with roasted marshmallows, s’mores, and mountain pies. If you have a back yard, set up a tent and sleep outside! If you don’t, then pitch the tent inside and use a fondue pot for your camping treats. Go on a scavenger hunt by day, tell ghost stories by night. No matter where you live, your kids can experience a camping adventure to ring in the summer.

8 – Read

It’s important to read to your child for at least 15 minutes a day. Reading is not just a school subject; kids should be reading every day, year round. Fun reading opportunities abound in the summer – read the comics and teen mags that were off limits during homework time; dig into a new novel on the beach, by the pool, or in the car; make a game of reading billboards and bumper stickers on a road trip.

No matter what you do to mark the occasion, do it together. Praise your kids for finishing another school year and reward them with a fun-filled and relaxing summer. Make a tradition, and make a memory.

Does your family have an end-of-school tradition?

Four Tips to Survive a Family Road Trip

Family fun or insane stress test?

by Jarrod Thalheimer

When you consider the insane cost of flying anywhere, not to mention the body cavity searches they throw in for free, it can sort of take the wind out of your sails when it comes to planning a family vacation. A trip to Hawaii just seems like way too much trouble and effort.

But that’s no reason to give up on a little R&R. Once upon a time, there was a ready-made vacation that was available to anyone with four wheels and a genuine sense of adventure: I can only be referring to a road trip.

A road trip really is the perfect vacation compromise. You can haul almost anything and everything you need right along with you. The schedule is controlled by you instead of the FAA while the cost, even considering rising fuel prices, is still way more affordable than a cruise or a flight, especially for a family.

That said, how do you avoid the dark side of the road trip? You know what I mean. You can hear it already…

“He touched me.”

“I did not.”

“You did too.”

“You’re lying.”

“He touched me again”

“You did it first.”

“Ow, quit it!”

“You quit it.”

“MOM!”

You know that in about one hour your throat will be sore from screaming at the kids, their seats will be sticky from up-ended sodas, and the entire back floor will be littered with enough Goldfish crackers to fill an aquarium. Figure at least two of them will be crying about being pinched, ignored, or painfully hungry, and you’ve got a pretty fair picture of life on the road with a family. And I haven’t even mentioned the bathroom issues.

Never fear. Even Otter and Boon had a few problems when they hit the road. The secret to any successful road trip is as easy as having AAA change a tire. All you need is a little planning, a little more luck, and a large sense of humor.

1. Plan events for everyone

You might think granite cliff faces and acres of blue spruce trees are exciting, but keep in mind that not everyone may share your detailed love of nature. Plan your journey around things or events that will interest everyone as you travel along – maybe a museum here, a park for soccer there, and a waterslide or two after lunch. If each person in the car has something to look forward to each day, the trip is a lot more fun for everyone.

2. Slow down

Don’t act like you’re a Presidential motorcade that, once moving, must not stop for anything. You’re on vacation. Don’t be afraid to stop periodically and take a break. The whole point of taking some time away from the grind is that you’re in no hurry. So, forget trying to set the land speed record from A to B. It’s not a race. Take a deep breath and enjoy the ride.

3. Be open to change

Everyone knows you planned to visit Herb’s Hubcap Hut and Day Spa by 3 p.m. Wednesday, but that doesn’t mean you should speed past the super-giant carnival you happened upon that no one ever expected to see. It’s okay to change your plans and take advantage of whatever surprise fate tosses your way. Herb’s hubcaps will be there tomorrow while this new experience may not. Accept the gifts adventure offers.

4. Relax

Above all else, calm down. It’s a vacation. The kids will spill things, that’s a given. Have plenty of towels and wipes on hand and just clean it up. If you can resist the urge to get excited and yell, you’ll find the kids will take their cues from you. After all, you’re all in it together. Determine up front that you’re going to have the best time you can and promise yourself that you’ll try a little “serenity now” when the journey gets rough. You might just learn a skill or two to take back to work when the trip is all done.

What car games keep your kids occupied?

Is a family pet for your kids more fun, or just more responsibility?

by Jarrod Thalheimer

I am not a pet guy. I don’t want a dog, a cat, or even a fish. I realize this likely identifies me as a special kind of bastard among “pet people,” but I will plead my case thusly: I grew up without pets in my house or even in the immediate vicinity. My father before me was raised on a farm so, in his world, animals were divided into three categories: food, farm employees, or predators to be dispatched of. There was no time or place for a domesticated anything.

Don’t get me wrong. I actually like animals. I’m partial to dogs over cats, yet I still enjoy a kitten curling up on my chest and falling asleep. I once toyed with the idea of installing a super-cool aquarium in my living room after having such a good time watching Finding Nemo, but ultimately I just bought the DVD (way less maintenance). See, I’m just not a pet guy.

Then I had kids.

Pets Need Kids and Kids Need Pets

Now I am being forced to re-think my long-held position. Friends with pets are obnoxious in insisting the best thing for kids is the loyal friendship of a family pet. Apparently, no child’s life is complete without some dog padding around the house while everyone sleeps.

Christine Hierlmaier-Nelson, an author and parenting professional at NatKnows.com, an ID site, explains that pets are great for teaching kids responsibility, empathy, and even genuine lessons about life and death. “By learning to feed, brush, and walk their pet, children are taught to focus on service to others and their own personal responsibility in caring for another life.”

The real problem is that our day-to-day lives are simply insane. Soccer practice, dancing, back and forth to school, play-dates, meetings, PTA, you name it. We’re on the road more than Willie Nelson is and when you figure kids themselves are more often than not leaking or dripping bodily fluids of some kind already, there is no room for another passenger that drools every time we pass a hot dog stand.

What Happens When You Leave Them Alone?

There’s more though. I know I’m fixating on the worst of the worst, but I do have a heart, too. I think about the sad look that would be on Spot’s tiny face when we head out the door in our daily tornado of activity. Fido or Miss Mew would be lonely as hell and why wouldn’t they be? We’re always headed out here or there. What about vacations? We either have to take them along or figure out which of our friends we could guilt into pet-sitting. And, even if we found someone, it would only set us up for a hairy houseguest of our own, probably with a few vet-ordered suppositories that need insertion twice a day.

I’m trying to change. I want to change. There must be some way to give my children the joy of pet ownership without losing my mind.

Then I realized it. The perfect solution. Have friends with pets. The kids can play all they want with them when everything’s fun and easy, but at the end of the day, the wild kingdom packs its bags and heads for home. It’s like being a grandparent – all the fun without the hassle.

So in the question of “To Pet or Not to Pet,” I know I am taking the coward’s way out. I just can’t do it. It’s too big of a commitment and responsibility to take on right now while the children are young. If there were only some way to test the waters…

Maybe we could start with sea monkeys. I hear they’re really quite quiet and they can even learn a few tricks. Plus, if things don’t work out they seem to be comfortable in the water already so I’ve already got an efficient exit plan in place…

What’s the pet you always wanted to have as a kid but never got?