Another way to overcome baby sleep issues is by finding out where your child can sleep the best at. Some may sleep better in their crib in their own bedroom, other might be better off with a bassinet sleeping in your bedroom. Some might even sleep better when lying right next to you in your bed. Parents usually cycle through many different sleeping arrangements within the child’s first 2 years trying to find the right one. It is also good to make sure you use many methods to get them to sleep, because they want to go back when they wake up the same way they originally fell asleep. So it is good to cycle through rocking them to sleep, nursing them sleep, singing or reading them a story. Both parents should take turns doing these things as well.

Another suggestion to help you avoid baby sleep troubles altogether is to set a nap schedule and stick to it. You can even set the times around when you are most tired throughout the day, just make sure to stick to that schedule. Lie down with your baby at these times every day and after a week or so, they will fall into the same routine with you. For your own sake, take this time to grab some sleep yourself, rather than trying to get something accomplished while the baby is napping.

To keep baby sleep issues away you and your child, get them in a routine of going through the same bedtime rituals every night. As your baby gets used to them and remembers them, they will be able to sleep more peacefully and will stay asleep longer too. Getting into a ritual of bath time, rocking, story, and song will get to realize that sleep is coming next.

The family bed – it’s big, soft, and apparently community property. Mom and dad may claim ownership, but it’s the kids that exercise squatter’s rights in taking it over. So the question is, should you let them stake a claim or are you better off drawing a line in the hallway and forbidding the little hobos from crossing it? Must family closeness take a back seat to a good night’s sleep or is a restful slumber simply something to give up on until your children are seniors in college?

As a young man on the prowl, the male fantasy of having more than one party sharing your bed at one time loomed large in my circle of friends. Far-fetched? Absolutely, but great fodder nonetheless for booze-fueled boasts. Was such an egocentric goal shallow, depraved, and insultingly misogynistic? Most certainly, but the immature male mind is nothing if not creative in its selfish desires.

When It Comes to Bedtime, “The More, The Merrier”
Fast-forward to genuine adulthood and life with four kids. I never thought it was here that my wish would materialize, but come true it did, although with a few crucial differences. My Maxim dreams are more Sesame Street these days as the group sharing our bed is more likely to yell, “Swiper, no swiping!” than anything particularly naughty. The weird thing is, I couldn’t be happier with the situation even though many mornings we could quite literally use orange cones and a flag-person to regulate the traffic flow moving in and out of our bed. When I open my eyes to greet a new day there is a better than 50 percent chance that I will see a foot on my forehead or a tiny butt pressed into my face before actual sunlight penetrates.

Fast-forward to genuine adulthood and life with four kids. I never thought it was here that my wish would materialize, but come true it did, although with a few crucial differences. My Maxim dreams are more Sesame Street these days as the group sharing our bed is more likely to yell, “Swiper, no swiping!” than anything particularly naughty. The weird thing is, I couldn’t be happier with the situation even though many mornings we could quite literally use orange cones and a flag-person to regulate the traffic flow moving in and out of our bed. When I open my eyes to greet a new day there is a better than 50 percent chance that I will see a foot on my forehead or a tiny butt pressed into my face before actual sunlight penetrates.

And truly, heaven could not be any sweeter.

Thing is, many experts claim that letting the kids sleep in your bed, or co-sleeping as they dub it, is considered a bad idea. The Internet offers the testimonials of many who should know, all declaring co-sleeping a no-go. “It’s a safety issue,” they claim. A member of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), Dr. Douglas Baker has firsthand knowledge of several senseless deaths related solely to children being suffocated by their sleeping parents. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, along with the AAP, officially discourages the practice of co-sleeping due mainly to the potential safety hazards that exist.

It’s a Safety Issue
But what do you say to that sad face that peers down at you sometime south of 2 a.m. begging to snuggle in close? Well, first of all, a lot of the safety concerns are based on infants so the bigger kids are probably okay. Even still, if you’re one of those unfortunate souls that insist on downing half a case of beer and a handful of sleeping pills before bed I would suggest that sleeping with anyone at all is a bad idea. Any drug or medication that will keep you from waking up is obviously dangerous to folks weighing less than your right leg. If you can resist the meds and the drinks it should be okay to have a visitor or two.

Another legitimate concern is that letting older kids sleep with you will somehow make it so they don’t ever want to leave. This means you could either have a child who is afraid to sleep on his own or one who will positively remain an only child because mom and dad can’t get a chance to see if another brother or sister might be in the offing. So is the answer to all of this really coming down to a razor-wire screen at the foot of the bed?

I don’t think so.

So What Should We Do?
All kids need to learn to sleep in their own beds, if for no other reason than they’ll get a better night’s sleep if they do. Each one of them has their own bundle of odd habits which work fine in their own bed but pose definite problems when sharing. One kicks the blankets off, while another requires 30 pounds of cushions and immersive heat, while the last one cannot rest unless there are enough stuffed animals on hand to stock a Toys “R” Us. No matter what, learning to sleep in your own space provides a confidence that will be invaluable as they get older and further develop their sense of self.

That said, along with the list of detractors there is just as long a list of expert parent gurus who tell us we should be sleeping with our kids in order to bond with them and let them know how much we love them. I agree with this too. Some of my best conversations with my little ones come after hours when the lights are off. For a small child (or a big one) to know they are welcome to snuggle up to mom or dad when the night is at its darkest sends a message that will transcend the years and provide comfort long after they leave home.

If we can take a cue from the animals, there are few things more cozy and warm-looking than a sleeping mother and father surrounded by their dozing cubs.

Just not every night, okay?

During this time children�s imaginations are fully developed. They frequently engage in pretend play. The things that my children imagine amaze me: from building a blanket boat to sail the seas as a pirate to pretending to rescue a princess sister from a dragon brother. Every parent has seen their child run trucks on the floor or rock a crying baby doll. Some children even have imaginary friends that they interact with on a regular basis. But along with the increase of imagination fears can develop. For many children distinguishing between imagination and reality can be difficult.

Dr. Sherman advises, �Parents need to take these concerns seriously rather than simply telling their children that monsters do not exist.� Since for the children monsters are a very viable source of fear. It is equivalent to telling an adult to not be afraid while walking down a dark inner city alley at night. Of course you are going to feel some fear. But in both cases it is how the fear is dealt with that is important. If you really need to go down the alley then you will overcome your fear and do it. If not you will find a different way to reach your destination. It is the same with children. Obviously your child has to go to bed and it will be dark but you can help them by finding ways to allay their fears.

As a parent it is important that you acknowledge your child�s fears and validate that it is okay for them to be afraid. Everyone feels fear and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Assure your child that you will help them and then suggest ways that your child can fight their fears.

• To help your child cope with nighttime fear, provide your child with a flashlight that they can keep next to their bed. Then they can shine it on the monster�s hiding place. Scaring the monster away, since every child knows that monsters don�t like light.
• Play games at dusk just as the sun is setting so your child gets comfortable in the dark.
• Don�t allow your child to watch scary shows that feature monsters. Because children have a hard time realizing that what they watch on T.V. and in the movies is not real. They could easily fear of a monster in their own room.
• Try reading books about children who overcome their monster fears. My favorites are “Too Many Monsters” in which a boy learns that monsters are afraid of ducks and quacking makes them run away and �Go away, Big Green Monster” where as the pages turn a monster�s face is built and then slowly disappears as the book tells the big green monster to go away.
• Some parents make it a nightly ritual to check all the places in their child�s room where a monster might hide and then reassure their child that their room is monster free.
• For some children monster protection charms work well to remove fear of monsters. It could be as simple as a special key chain that your child can keep under their pillow to ward off monsters.
• Nightlights can help dispel a child�s fears. My nephew has to sleep with two nightlights in order to keep the monsters in his room at bay.

�The key to helping children defeat imaginary monsters is to make them feel empowered, while disposing of their nightmare creations,� Dr. Sherman says. With a little creativity parents can ensure their children that there are no monsters under the bed.

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