Praise needs to be given to encourage children. Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator, author and international speaker says, �Encouragement is the process of focusing on your childrens assets and strengths in order to build their self-confidence and feelings of worth. I like to think of the word encourage broken into encourage meaning I am giving you the gift of courage.�

Through praise we let our children know that we appreciate their efforts not just their accomplishments and that our love and acceptance is not dependent on their behavior. Praising children encourages them to keep trying. It helps develop confidence and imparts a feeling of being loved, appreciated, and cared for.

Any praise for a kid is good but specific praise is more effective. Ray Burke, Ph.D. and Ron Herron in their award-winning book, Common Sense Parenting, talk about using �effective� praise. This means using specific praise instead of general comments like Great! or Good job!

Effective praise addresses the action that your child is being praised for. If your child calls you up from a friend�s house to let you know he will be getting home late, don�t let such an action go unnoticed. Instead of just saying something general like �Good job,� say, It is very responsible of you to call me and let me know you will be late.�� You have pointed out the good behavior and told your son why he deserved the praise. Effective praise is more likely to elicit repeat good behavior then general praise.

My daughter loves to draw pictures. Instead of telling her the picture looks good I try and point out a specific thing that I like. Commenting on her use of color, or the great way drew herself. This increases her confidence in her drawing ability much more than a It’s nice. Also look for other tips to make a confident child.

Try using some effective praise with your children and see the difference that it can make.

“Yes,” says Jeffrey Bergin Dean of Clinics at the National University of Health
Sciences in Lombard. “Many children are suffering from chronic pain in the hands, neck
and shoulders, as well as repetitive motion injuries such as carpal tunnel syndrome.
Many of these ailments can be prevented and eliminated with proper attention to posture,
correct backpack use and attention to how and how long children sit at computer stations.
“Poor posture can also cause bones to grow abnormally. Good posture ensures that
the least strain is placed on muscles and ligaments. According to Spine Universe.com
having good posture prevents muscle fatigue and backaches, decreases wear on joints,
ligaments, and bones, and contributes to a good appearance.

So what is good posture?
Posture is how a person holds their body when not only
standing but when sitting or laying down. It requires a person to balance their
muscle along their spine, have good muscle flexibility, and normal motion in the
joints. Those who have good posture are aware of their posture and correct it when
wrong. Posture comes from a combination of good muscle control, strength, and self-confidence.
Those with good posture walk and sit with their back straight, shoulders back, and head high.

What are the common posture problems?
Improper wearing of backpacks causes many back problems in children. Children, who spend a
lot of time at the computer, watching television, or playing video games, often have poor
posture. Slouching while walking or eating is also common.

What is proper backpack use?
Make sure that your child backpack weighs no more than 10% of his body weight. Make sure that
your child’s backpack does not hang more than four inches below the waist. If it does, tighten
the straps. Also it is important to use both straps. Although not cool it prevents neck and
back pain.

What if my child slouches while using or viewing media?
If your child slouches while using the computer, providing desk and chair of the right size
would be one of the ideal posture correctors. Their feet should touch the floor. Have them put
their back against the chair and use a pillow if extra support is needed. If they do use an
adult chair give them a stool for their feet and support their back with pillows. Dr. Kristine
Fortuna, a professor in the orthopedic department at Temple University, also recommends
that, “Children should sit in front of a video game or television for no more than
20 minutes at most.” Then your child should take a walking break.

How do I teach my child good posture?

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Helping your child feel confident about their appearance builds their self-esteem and gives them courage to enter new situations. Here are 5 steps you can take to help dress your child for success.

1. Hair – Start with your child’s head. Making sure that your child has well-groomed hair will give them the confidence they need to keep their head up.

If your child is a boy make sure that his hair is cut often. Having short hair makes it easier to maintain and style. Comb your son’s hair before going out. Apply gel and then style. Choose a style that works with your son’s hair and is easy to do.

I always feel sorry for the little girls that I see with matted hair that is just hanging around their face. Take time to do your daughter’s hair every day. If you aren’t confident with your hair-styling abilities ask a friend or relative to show you how. Doing a little girl’s hair can be difficult so keep the style simple and use no more than two elastic’s or barrettes. While doing your child’s hair you can distract them by letting them look in a small handheld mirror or play with a toy reserved for hair styling time.

Make sure that you regularly wash your child’s hair. A few times a week is fine. Use a comb when your child’s hair is wet prevents damage. When it is dry a brush is often better at working through any tangles, if your child’s hair is too tangled spray on a leave-in conditioner before combing.

2. Face – The face is the gateway to your child’s soul. You want your child to feel confident about showing their face and smile. When your child is young wash their face often and keep their nose clean. As your child grows teach them to wash their own face. If your child has bad acne try and figure out a way to get them medication to clear up the problem. Acne destroys confidence so quickly, especially for girls.

3. Smile – Growing up my sister would never show her teeth when she smiled, because she hated her teeth. Crooked, discolored, or peg teeth may not seem like a big deal to you as a parent but for your child it could be a constant source of embarrassment. You want your child to feel confident enough to smile and making sure that they have nice teeth is key.

4. Clothes – The child who dresses completely out of style, dirty and ragged, or a few sizes to big or small will not feel confident in what they are wearing. Your child’s clothes don’t have to be the latest style but they do need to be clean, hole and stain free, and fit correctly.

If you don’t have much money to spend on clothing try chain stores like Walmart, Shopko, and Target. They carry the same styles as department stores for a lot less money. You can also try shopping thrift stores.

If your child wears hand-me-down clothes from siblings or relatives try buying one or two items that are the latest styles to fit into your child’s wardrobe.

If your child gets a stain in their clothing get it out. I like using stain stick. I apply it on the stain at night then wash it the next day. Check to make sure the stain is gone before drying the item. If it is not reapply the stain stick and wash it again. The best thing for getting out grass and dirt stains is a Fels naptha bar.

5. Shoes – What your child wears on their feet does make a difference. Your child doesn’t need a million pairs of shoes to look good. But you do need to make sure that your child’s shoes are comfortable, the right size, and in good shape. If your child shoes are badly scuffed or have holes they will not feel as comfortable wearing them in public. If your child is going to wear more dressy clothes buy them dressier shoes. I love Payless because they often have buy one get one half off sales.

Let your child get the shoes that they want. Last year both of my girls got Dora the Explorer shoes, not my first choice, but they loved showing people how they lit up when they walked. If your child wants a pair of shoes that are really expensive pay them for chores and let them earn part of the money for their shoes.

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